Enter KENT, disguised
KENT enters disguised


If but as well I other accents borrow, / That can my speech defuse, my good intent / May carry through itself to that full issue / For which I razed my likeness.
If I can talk in another accent that I can handle, although I've been fired, my good intentions can talk him through that issue.

Now, banish'd Kent, / If thou canst serve where thou dost stand condemn'd, / So may it come, thy master, whom thou lovest, / Shall find thee full of labours.
Even though I'm fired, I can still serve you. So here I come my honor, the one you loved most will find you good of labor.


Let me not stay a jot for dinner; go get it ready.
I'm going to have dinner. Please get ready.

How now! what art thou?
What's up, man. What are you? Who are you?


A man, sir.
A man.


What dost thou profess? what wouldst thou with us?
What do you want? Why do you want to be with us?


I do profess to be no less than I seem;
I confess that I am not lower than you think I am.

to serve
him truly that will put me in trust: to love him
that is honest; to converse with him that is wise,
and says little; to fear judgment; to fight when I
cannot choose; and to eat no fish.

I'll work for you, and you'll become to trust me.
I'll adore you, and I'm telling you the truth.
I can have a wise conversation with you and say very little.
I'll be scared of your judgments, and I'll fight for you, plus, I won't drink!


What art thou?
What are you?


A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the king.
I'm a very honest person, and I am as humble as you are.


If thou be as poor for a subject as he is for a / king, thou art poor enough. What wouldst thou?
If you are as humble to a peasant as to a king, you are humble enough. What do you want?




Who wouldst thou serve?
Who do you want to serve?




Dost thou know me, fellow?
Do you know me?


No, sir; but you have that in your countenance / which I would fain call master.
No sir, but you have that something in your face that I would love to call my boss.


What's that?
What's that something?




What services canst thou do?
What services can you do?


I can keep honest counsel, ride, run, mar a curious
tale in telling it, and deliver a plain message
bluntly: that which ordinary men are fit for, I am
qualified in; and the best of me is diligence.

I can give sincere advice, ride a horse, run, or ruin a good
story during its telling, and can be straight-forward.
All that things that ordinary men can do, I can,
but my best quality is diligence.


How old art thou?
How old are you?


Not so young, sir, to love a woman for singing, nor / so old to dote on her for any thing:
Sir, I'm not too young to love a woman shallowly, nor am I too old to obsess over her.

I have years / on my back forty eight.
I'm 48 years old.


Follow me; thou shalt serve me: if I like thee no / worse after dinner, I will not part from thee yet.
Follow me, you will serve me. If I still like you after dinner, I won't fire you.

Dinner, ho, dinner! Where's my knave? my fool? / Go you, and call my fool hither.
Dinner, yeah, dinner! Where's my clown? My fool? you, go and call my fool here.

Exit an Attendant

You, you, sirrah, where's my daughter?
Hey, you, you. Sir, where's my daughter?


So please you,--
As you wish.


The following work is done by Jane Hyun and Daniel Oh

KING LEAR: What says the fellow there? Call the clotpoll back.
(Exit a Knight)
Where's my fool, ho? I think the world's asleep.
(Re-enter Knight)
How now! where's that mongrel?
KING LEAR : What the hell is he saying? Call that jerk back.
(Exit first knight)
Where’s my fool? Is everyone deaf or something?
(Enter first knight)
Hey there! Where’s that idiot?

Knight: He says, my lord, your daughter is not well.
Knight: Sir, he says your daughter is sick.

KING LEAR: Why came not the slave back to me when I called him.
KING LEAR : Why didn’t he come back when I called him?

Knight: Sir, he answered me in the roundest manner, he would not.
Knight : He answered me bluntly that he will not.

KING LEAR: He would not!
KING LEAR : He did?!

Knight: My lord, I know not what the matter is; but,
to my judgment, your highness is not entertained with that
ceremonious affection as you were wont; there's a
great abatement of kindness appears as well in the
general dependants as in the duke himself also and your daughter.
Knight : I don’t know what’s happening, but I think that you are not being treated as you should be. Your daughter, her husband and her lackies are not showing enough respect.

KING LEAR : Ha! sayest thou so?
KING LEAR : You think so?

Knight : I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, if I be mistaken;
for my duty cannotbe silent when I think your highness wronged.
Knight : Forgive me if I am mistaken. I can’t stand you being treated disrespectfully.

KING LEAR : Thou but rememberest me of min own conception: I
have perceived a most faint neglect of late; which I
have rather blamed as mine own jealous curiosity
than as a very pretence and purpose of kindness:
I will look further into't. But where's my fool? I have not seem him this two days.
KING LEAR : Actually that’s what I’ve been thinking. I sensed their disrespect lately but I blamed myself for being overly sensitive about their rude attitude. I’ll look into it. But where’s my fool? I didn’t see him for two days.

Knight : Since my young lady's going into France, sir, the fool hath much pined away.
Knight : Ever since your young daughter went to France, he has been very depressed.

KING LEAR : No more of that; I have noted it well. Go you, and tell my daughter I would speack with her.
(Exit an Attendant)
Go you, call hither my fool.
(Exit an Attendant, Re-enter OSWALD)
O, you sir, you, com you hither, sir: who am I, sir?
KING LEAR : Don’t talk about that. I realized that too. Go and tell my daughter that I would speak with her.
(Exit an attendant)
You go bring my fool here.
(Exit another attendant, Re-enter OSWALD)
Hey, you, come here. Who am I, gentleman?

OSWALD : My lady's father.
OSWALD : My mistress’ father.

KING LEAR: "My lady's father"! my lord's knave: your whoreson dog! you slave! you cur!
KING LEAR: “My mistress’ father?” for Christ's sake! You, useless piece of shit!

OSWALD: I am none of these, my lord; I beseech your pardon.
OSWALD : I beg your pardon. I’m none of them.

KING LEAR: Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal? (Striking him)
KING LEAR: What’s up with your attitude, you idiot? (he strikes OSWALD)

OSWALD: I'll not be struck, my lord.
OSWALD: Don’t hit me, godfather.

KENT: Nor tripped neither, you base football player. (Tripping up his heels)
KENT: What about this, you asshole? (Tripping OSWALD)

KING LEAR: I thank thee, fellow; thou servest me, and I'll love thee.
KING LEAR: (to KENT) Thank you. You did me a favor, and I owe you one.

KENT: Come, sir, arise, away! I'll teach you differences:
away, away! if you will measure your lubber's
length again, tarry: but away! go to; have you wisdom? so. (Pushes OSWALD out)
KENT: (to OSWALD) Come on! Get up! Get the hell out of here! I’ll teach you some better manners. Get out if you don’t want to get tripped again. Go! Keep on running! Do you have a brain? There it is. (Pushes OSWALD out)

The following work is done by Catherine M. and JiEun :)
Lines 89-139

KING LEAR Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee: there’s
earnest of thy service. 90
[Giving KENT money]
[Enter FOOL]

KING LEAR Ah, man, thanks for everything you've done.

FOOL Let me hire him too: here’s my coxcomb.
[Offering KENT his cap]

FOOL Hey, why don’t you work for me, too? Here, take my cap.

KING LEAR How now, my pretty knave! how dost thou?

KING LEAR What’s up, lackey? How are you doing?

FOOL Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.

FOOL Hey, you’d better take my cap.

KENT Why, fool?

KENT Why’s that, fool?

FOOL Why, for taking one’s part that’s out of favour: 95
nay, an thou canst not smile as the wind sits,
thou’lt catch cold shortly: there, take my coxcomb:
why, this fellow has banished two on’s daughters,
and did the third a blessing against his will; if
thou follow him, thou must needs wear my coxcomb. 100
How now, nuncle! Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters!

FOOL Why? Well, for sticking with someone who’s no longer the Godfather. You got to get with the program, or else you’ll suffer. Now, take my cap. Why, this guy here just kicked out two of his daughters and actually blessed the third one without even noticing. If you choose to stick with him, you’re a fool, and so you should wear my cap! What’s up, Lear! Gees, I wish I had two caps and two daughters.

KING LEAR Why, my boy?

KING LEAR Why’s that, my boy?

FOOL If I gave them all my living, I’ld keep my coxcombs
myself. There’s mine; beg another of thy daughters.

FOOL If I gave them everything I had, I’d keep my fool caps for myself! Here’s mine. Ask your daughters for another one.

KING LEAR Take heed, sirrah; the whip. 105

KING LEAR Watch it, boy, I could whip you.

FOOL Truth’s a dog must to kennel; he must be whipped
out, when Lady the brach may stand by the fire and stink.

FOOL For telling the truth, the dog gets whipped, while the bitch stands by the warm fire, and stinks with her suck-up words.

KING LEAR A pestilent gall to me!

KING LEAR Such a pain in the ass!

FOOL Sirrah, I’ll teach thee a speech.

FOOL Sir, let me tell you something.


KING LEAR Go ahead.

FOOL Mark it, nuncle:
Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest,
Ride more than thou goest, 115
Learn more than thou trowest,
Set less than thou throwest;
Leave thy drink and thy whore,
And keep in-a-door,
And thou shalt have more 120
Than two tens to a score.

FOOL Listen up, Lear! Don’t show everything you have. Don’t speak everything you know. Lend less than you owe. Ride further than you need. Learn more than you believe. Bet less than you expect. Forget the drink and your whores. And just lay low, and stay home. Then you’ll get more in the end. Than two tens to a score. (This is our unknown part, previously mentioned on the discussion page. In context it seems to be okay to leave it out, but, just in case, i'm keeping it here.)

KENT This is nothing, fool.

KENT Try to make some sense, fool.

FOOL Then ‘tis like the breath of an unfee’d lawyer; you
gave me nothing for’t. Can you make no use of
nothing, nuncle? 125

FOOL Then it’s like the words of an unpaid lawyer. You paid me nothing for it, didn’t you? Can’t you just use it?

KING LEAR Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing.

KING LEAR Of course not, my boy. You can’t make anything from nothing.

his land comes to: he will not believe a fool.

FOOL So is his paid tributes, since he gave away all his turfs. But he won’t believe me, because I’m a fool.

KING LEAR A bitter fool!

KING LEAR You, bitter fool!

FOOL Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a
bitter fool and a sweet fool? 130

FOOL Oh, do you know the difference between a bitter fool and a sweet fool?

KING LEAR No, lad; teach me.

KING LEAR No, boy. You tell me.

FOOL That lord that counsell’d thee
To give away thy land,
Come place him here by me,
Do thou for him stand: 135
The sweet and bitter fool
Will presently appear;
The one in motley here,
The other found out there.

FOOL You know the guy who advised you to give away your territory? Say he’s here, right next to me, or you, standing in his position. Then, you’ll see the sweet fool and the bitter fool: the sweet one, in a costume right here, and the other, over there.

- - - - -

(The following section was translated by Joanna Hong and Shana Kim.)
Act I Scene IV (Page 21, Lines 186- 235) "A hall in the same."

FOOL (orig.)
...thou art nothing.
Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue; so your face
bids me, though you say nothing. Mum, mum,
He that keeps nor crust nor crum,
Weary of all, shall want some.
[Pointing to KING LEAR]
That's a shealed peascod.

FOOL (trans.) You are nothing. [To Goneril] Okay, even though you don't say it, you're face tells me to shut up. Sh, sh. He who wants food on his table, tired of being poor, must do what it takes. [Pointing to KING LEAR] That's an empty pea pod.

GONERIL (orig.)
Not only, sir, this your all-licensed fool,
But other of your insolent retinue
Do hourly carp and quarrel; breaking forth
In rank and not-to-be endured riots. Sir,
I had thought, by making this well known unto you,
To have found a safe redress; but now grow fearful,
By what yourself too late have spoke and done.
That you protect this course, and put it on
By your allowance; which if you should, the fault
Would not 'scape censure, nor the redresses sleep,
Which, in the tender of a wholesome weal,
Might in their working do you that offence,
Which else were shame, that then necessity
Will call discreet proceeding.

GONERIL (trans.) Not only, sir, does your fool, hired to constantly carp and quarrel, but your other ignorant men also carp and quarrel, causing offensive and intolerable riots. Sir, I thought I could solve the problem by talking to you; but I'm now getting scared by what you, aged and old, have said and done. You defend your men and this course of action, and let this all happen; and since you did, you cannot escape the blame, nor its need for compensation, which, because you are so weak, might cause you harm in your punishment, which is a shame, but rightful proceedings must take place.

FOOL (orig.)
For, you trow, nuncle,
The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long,
That it's had it head bit off by it young.
So, out went the candle, and we were left darkling.

FOOL (trans.) Uncle, you think, the hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long, that it's had its head bit off by its young. So, out went the candle, and we were left in the dark.

KING LEAR (orig.)
Are you our daughter?

KING LEAR (trans.) Are you my daughter?

GONERIL (orig.)
Come, sir,
I would you would make use of that good wisdom,
Whereof I know you are fraught; and put away
These dispositions, that of late transform you
From what you rightly are.

GONERIL (trans.) Look, sir, I hope you would use some sense which I know must be inside your big head; and put away these inclinations, since old age has changed you from your true self.

FOOL (orig.)
May not an ass know when the cart
draws the horse? Whoop, Jug! I love thee.

FOOL (trans.) Is it opposite day? Oh, Lord's grace! I love thee.

KING LEAR (orig.)
Doth any here know me? This is not Lear:
Doth Lear walk thus? speak thus? Where are his eyes?
Either his notion weakens, his discernings
Are lethargied--Ha! waking? 'tis not so.
Who is it that can tell me who I am?

KING LEAR (trans.) Does anyone here know me? I am not Lear. Does Lear walk this way? Speak this way? Where are his eyes? Either he is losing his mind or losing his judgement. Am I awake? I don't think I am. Who can tell me who I am?

FOOL (orig.)
Lear's shadow.

FOOL (trans.) Your shadow.

KING LEAR (orig.)
I would learn that; for, by the
marks of sovereignty, knowledge, and reason,
I should be false persuaded I had daughters.

KING LEAR (trans.) I want to know because through signs of knowledge and reason around me indicate that I have daughters.

FOOL (orig.)
Which they will make an obedient father.

FOOL (trans.) Who make you into an obedient father

KING LEAR (orig.)
Your name, fair gentlewoman?

KING LEAR (trans.) What is your name dear lady?

This admiration, sir, is much o' the savour
Of other your new pranks. I do beseech you
To understand my purposes aright:
As you are old and reverend, you should be wise.
Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires;
Men so disorder'd, so debosh'd and bold,
That this our court, infected with their manners,
Shows like a riotous inn: epicurism and lust
Make it more like a tavern or a brothel
Than a graced palace. The shame itself doth speak
For instant remedy: be then desired
By her, that else will take the thing she begs,
A little to disquantity your train;
And the remainder, that shall still depend,
To be such men as may besort your age,
And know themselves and you.

GONERIL (trans.) Your action now is resembling those of your other mischiefs. I am begging you to understand my purposes. Since you are old and respected, you should be wise. But you keep hundreds of knights and men who are disordered, bold that our royal court is being infected with their manners.

(Following section was done by Frances and Shim)
page 22 Frances and Shim

ACT I SCENE IV A hallin the same.


That this our court, infected with their manners,235 (at the very bottom of pg 21)
Shows like a riotous inn: epicurism and lust Make it more
like a tavern or a brothel than a graced palace.
The shame itself doth speak for instant remedy: be then desired
By her, that else will take the thing she begs, 240
A little to disquantity your train;
And the remainder, that shall still depend,
To be such men as may besort your age,
And know themselves and you.

Your men and their behaviors make this place
like a bar filled with alcoholics and perverts.
They are making it look more like a motel or whorehouse rather than a palace.
There is no way that peace will come into this house.
So I ask you, I beg you to listen to me.
Let go of some of your men, decrease your group size;
The ones who should remain depend on their age. Keep the old men like you
and the ones who know how to act according to their age.

Darkness and devils! 245
Saddle my horses; call my train together:
Degenerate bastard! I'll not trouble thee.
Yet have I left a daughter.

King Lear:
Jesus Christ! What the hell!
You just get my men together and their rides ready.
You bitch! I am not going to tolerate you.
I'll leave you bitch for my other daughter now.

You strike my people; and your disorder'd rabble
Make servants of their betters. 250

Well your men had no right to beat up mine who are so much superior
and treat them like slaves in the first place.


Albany comes in

Woe, that too late repents,--
O, sir, are you come? Is it your will? Speak, sir. Prepare my horses.
Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
More hideous when thou show'st thee in a child
Than the sea-monster! 255

King Lear:
You know your late.
Telling Albany
Guess you didn't even want to come in the first place right?
Just get my ride ready.
You cold witch; a sea monster would be better than you to have as a child.

ALBANY Pray, sir, be patient.

Chill, Don Lear..

My train are men of choice and rarest parts,
That all particulars of duty know,
And in the most exact regard support
The worships of their name. O most small fault, 260
How ugly didst thou in Cordelia show!
That, like an engine, wrench'd my frame of nature
From the fix'd place; drew from heart all love,
And added to the gall. O Lear, Lear, Lear!
Beat at this gate, that let thy folly in, 265
Striking his head
And thy dear judgment out! Go, go, my people.

King Lear:
Telling Goneril
My men are the best anyone could find; they know their jobs, and they know what to do.
They have cared about their reputations a lot.
Ah! How ugly does Cordelia's small fault show!
Her behavior just broke my heart and shaked my nature.
Ah! How stupid I was not to realize that Cordelia was speaking the truth, that she brought her words from her heart.
Ah Lear, Lear, Lear! Just bang your head against this gate and let the foolishness come in.
Striking his head.
And just let it go. Lets go guys..

My lord, I am guiltless, as I am ignorant
Of what hath moved you.

Albany: Godfather, I am totally lost. Can you tell me what in the world is going on?

It may be so, my lord.
Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear! 270
Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend
To make this creature fruitful!
Into her womb convey sterility!
Dry up in her the organs of increase;
And from her derogate body never spring 275
A babe to honour her! If she must teem,
Create her child of spleen; that it may live,
And be a thwart disnatured torment to her!
Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth;
With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks; 280
Turn all her mother's pains and benefits
To laughter and contempt; that she may feel
How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is

King Lear:
Yes that might be it, but for christsake,
why don't you just stop talking as if you are trying to make this wife of yours better?
Damn her womb.
Making every part of her body useless;
she should even have no right to have a baby!
If she gives birth to something,
probably the devil itself,
let it get on her nerves.
Let that thing give stress, make her pissed,
cry in pain, and make her old. A pain in the ass.
Turn all her mother's joy and benefits to hatred and comtempt so that
she can feel how much it hurts.
Let that bitch know what its like to be a parent.

(This section was done by Frances and Shim)

(The following section is by Jaeho Lee and Ivory Kim)
Page. 23~24 line 283

KING LEAR(original):
To have a thankless child! Away, away!
KING LEAR(translated):
It cant be any worse than to have some ignorant child like you. Piss off. Out of my face.

Now, gods that we adore, whereof comes this?
How the hell did this happen? What happened all of a sudden?

Never afflict yourself to know the cause;
But let his disposition have that scope
That dotage gives it.
Re-enter KING LEAR
Don’t try to know how it happened. Just leave him with his own senile thoughts.
Re-enter KING LEAR

KING LEAR(original):
What, fifty of my followers at a clap!
Within a fortnight!
KING LEAR(translated):
What? Only with fifty of my boys!
In only two weeks?

What's the matter, sir?
What's wrong, Godfather?

kinglearstreettalk » page 23 24 Ivory and JaeHo » edit
KING LEAR(original):
I'll tell thee [To GONERIL]:
Life and death! I am ashamed
That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus;
That these hot tears, which break from me perforce,
Should make thee worth them. Blasts and fogs upon thee! 295
The untented woundings of a father's curse
Pierce every sense about thee! Old fond eyes,
Beweep this cause again, I'll pluck ye out,
And cast you, with the waters that you lose,
To temper clay. Yea, it is come to this? 300
Let is be so: yet have I left a daughter,
Who, I am sure, is kind and comfortable:
When she shall hear this of thee, with her nails
She'll flay thy wolvish visage. Thou shalt find
That I'll resume the shape which thou dost think 305
I have cast off for ever: thou shalt,
I warrant thee.

Exeunt KING LEAR, KENT, and Attendants
KING LEAR(translated):
I’ll tell you what.Live or die, I cant believe how rude you are trying to make me ashamed so I would end up crying, which is so unnecessary, which will make you happy though, Damn you. All the shit you’ve said to me are so mean and cruel! You, ignorant child, if you do anything like this again,, just like you did to me but worse. What? Can you see the reality? This is it:I was left with one daughter who is kind:I bet when she hears about you, she’ll probably turn all red and rip your beast-like face with her nails. You’ll find that I haven't changed from what you thought of me, as inferior. You'll see. I guarantee you.

Exeunt KING LEAR, KENT and Attendants

Do you mark that, my lord?
Did you just hear that, honey?

I cannot be so partial, Goneril,
To the great love I bear you,--
I can’t believe it too, Goneril.Oh my god, you’re doomed.

Pray you, content. What, Oswald, ho!
To the Fool
You, sir, more knave than fool, after your master.
Screw you, shut up. What, Oswald, yo!
To the fool
You, the idiot one, follow your master.

Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry and take the fool
with thee.
A fox, when one has caught her, 315
And such a daughter,
Should sure to the slaughter,
If my cap would buy a halter:
So the fool follows after.
Uncle Lear, don’t go, take me with you. A sly person when with other people, and such a great I had no idea that the daughter will try to kill her own father.Gees, you’re a scary lady, I’ll just shut up and leave and follow my leader.

This man hath had good counsel:--a hundred knights! 320
'Tis politic and safe to let him keep
At point a hundred knights: yes, that, on every dream,
Each buzz, each fancy, each complaint, dislike,
He may enguard his dotage with their powers,
And hold our lives in mercy. Oswald, I say!
My dad still has good backups, 100 knights! He still has his power to keep him protected with 100 people. He’ll probably try to guard everything, he’s nuts. He’s going to put us out. Seriously, Oswald!

Well, you may fear too far.
Well, I think you’re over-exaggerating.

Safer than trust too far:
Let me still take away the harms I fear,
Not fear still to be taken: I know his heart.
What he hath utter'd I have writ my sister 330
If she sustain him and his hundred knights
When I have show'd the unfitness,--

Re-enter OSWALD
How now, Oswald!
What, have you writ that letter to my sister?
Hey, its better than to think too shallow. But, I don’t wanna worry too much Still, I have to keep my guards up: I know he’ll do something. I have written to my sister telling her everything he's said. If she welcomes him and his hundred knights after I've shown how inappropriately he's behaved.

Re-enter OSWALD
Oswald, have you written that letter to my sister yet?

Yes, madam.
OSWALD(translated): : Yea, Madam.

Take you some company, and away to horse:
Inform her full of my particular fear;
And thereto add such reasons of your own
As may compact it more. Get you gone;
And hasten your return. 340
No, no, my lord,
This milky gentleness and course of yours
Though I condemn not, yet, under pardon,
You are much more attask'd for want of wisdom
Than praised for harmful mildness.
GONERIL(translated): :
Take some men and horses and go to her. Let her no what I am scared of and add your own reasons to support my case.
Now go and hurry up when you return.
No, no, darling, I'm not angry that you urge me to deal more gently with my father. You’re being so stupid that is much more noticeable than your tenderness toward my father.

How far your eyes may pierce I can not tell: 345
Striving to better, oft we mar what's well.
I don’t know how much you see or know. But people often screw things up trying to make them better.

Nay, then--
No, it’s all good then.

Well, well; the event.
Alright, alright; lets do this.

(The top section was translated by Jaeho Lee and Ivory Kim)

Act I Scene IV A hall in the same.
Page 20
Lines 132-186

That lord that counsell'd thee
To give away thy land,
Come place him here by me,
Do thou for him stand: 135
The sweet and bitter fool
Will presently appear;
The one in motley here,
The other found out there.
FOOL: That crone who counseled you to give away your turf, is a fool, so place him right next to me. But you're sticking by him. The sweet and bitter fool will show up, one of them is here, the other out there.

KING LEAR: Dost thou call me fool, boy? 140
KING LEAR: Are you calling me a fool, boy!?

FOOL: All thy other titles thou hast given away; that
thou wast born with.
FOOL: You have given away all your other titles. Except one that you were born with: being a fool.

KENT: This is not altogether fool, my lord.
KENT: This isn't all just bull, Don.

FOOL: No, faith, lords and great men will not let me; if
I had a monopoly out, they would have part on't: 145
and ladies too, they will not let me have all fool
to myself; they'll be snatching. Give me an egg,
nuncle, and I'll give thee two crowns.
FOOL: No, faith, Dons, and great men won't believe me. Even if everyone agreed with me, they would still refuse to be part of it. And even the ladies. They won't let me ............?. Hand over an egg, zu, and give ya two crowns.

KING LEAR: What two crowns shall they be?
KING LEAR: Oh, what two crowns are those?

FOOL: Why, after I have cut the egg i' the middle, and eat 150
up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou
clovest thy crown i' the middle, and gavest away
both parts, thou borest thy ass on thy back o'er
the dirt: thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown,
then thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speak 155
like myself in this, let him be whipped that first
finds it so.

Fools had ne'er less wit in a year;
For wise men are grown foppish,
They know not how their wits to wear, 160
Their manners are so apish.
FOOL: See, after I cut up the egg in half, eat up all that white stuff and the yellow stuff on top, I have chowed down both crowns of the egg. When you eat both the top of the yolk and the white stuff, you're stripped naked. The white stuff, that don't matter much, cuz even if you do eat it, you got our other crown the yellow one. But if you eat that up too, then dam, you have nothing. You lose all ya got, per se. If what I'm saying is all bull, then the first one to find it so should be roughed up. Fools don't usually give advice to Dons, but those on top, the Don's of this century, have all done lost their brains. They don't know what to do with their heads, and their manners, all ape-like and brutish.

KING LEAR: When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah?
KING LEAR: Since when did you become full of songs, sir?

FOOL: I have used it, nuncle, ever since thou madest thy
daughters thy mothers: for when thou gavest them
the rod, and put'st down thine own breeches, 165

Then they for sudden joy did weep,
And I for sorrow sung,
The such a king should play bo-peep,
And go the fools among.
Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach 170
thy fool to lie: I would fain learn to lie.
FOOL: I have done so, uncle, since you made your daughters your mothers; because when you handed over your key to power and stepped down from the Chair, they all bawled with joy, and I sang for sorrow. I can't believe that a Don like you should wallow amongst those fools. Keep, uncle, a man who can teach your fool to lie, because I would gladly learn to like about what I'm talking about. .

KING LEAR: An you lie, sirrah, we''ll have you whipped.
KING LEAR: And you, sir, are lying, so we will have you punished.

FOOL: I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are:
they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lyingl and sometimes I am 175
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle; thou hast pared thy wit o' both sides,
and left nothing i' the middle: here comes one o'
the parings. 180
FOOL: I wonder what breed of people you and your daughters are. They want me beaten up for saying the truth and you want to punish me for lying. And sometimes I'm beaten up for not even saying anything. I'd rather be anything other than a fool, but none like you uncle. You have cut your brain on both sides and got nothing left in the middle; here comes one of the cutters.

[enter GONERIL]

KING LEAR: How now, daughter! What makes that frontlet on?
Methinks you are too much of late i' the frown.
KING LEAR: What is the matter, princess? Why such a face? I think you have been frowning too much lately.

FOOL: Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no need to
care for her frowning; now thou art an O without a
figure: I am better than thou art nowl I am a fool, 185
thou art nothing.
FOOL: You were a good man when you didn't need to care for her feelings. Now you have become a banana without a peel. I'm better than you are now. I am a fool while you are nothing.

(translated by Kat and Faye)